Dear Zindagi – Movie Review
Relationships are actually very simple. Unless, we start putting every responsibility on one person to take care of each aspect of our life. Usually, that’s a life partner. And that’s where the simplicity ends. Perhaps that’s why being friends is simpler and maybe the whole concept of marriage is flawed. Maybe not. Maybe we put too much pressure on that one person to take care of all dimensions of our life whereas we fell in love with that person for less than those dimensions.
Children need validation and love. Unconditional love. And every one of us fears abandonment. Some more, some less. But we all have that fear based on our experiences. I do too. Just like you. Which is why perhaps we fear commitment. We fear giving it all. And we leave the other person before they can leave us, giving us a sense of power. The reality being we can never sustain any relationship that becomes more than just friends. If you’ve been abandoned by anyone you loved from all your heart, then the next time, you will love but you will not give it all, you’ll not give your heart completely, knowing that 10% of your heart needs to be with you, just so you can sustain, breathe and stay alive while the other 90% is being broken. But then comes a thin line of not being able to stay in a commitment versus being on the defensive. Knowing that this is not permanent. One slight mistake and things will flip and you’ll be abandoned once again. Is that something you can relate with? You bet!
The movie evokes various emotions and more than that, a few questions.
- Why can’t we have multiple soulmates for different things, different areas of interest in life? Why can’t we have an intellectual soulmate, a cup of coffee soulmate, a professional soulmate, a funny soulmate, etc. that connect with us in different areas of life aka that fit like a jigsaw piece in a puzzle? Can one person do all these things? Not fair to that one person and this is why perhaps relationships fail?
- Why can’t a woman have relationships with men before settling with one to find a good fit? Why is she labeled in our so-called-advanced society and men have no issues having multiple relationships? Why does a woman not have a choice?
- Why are we constantly looking to seek validation from our society? When we say “Log Kya Kahengey” who are these people we keep talking about?
- Why are we told to suppress our feelings of sadness, hatred, anger to keep the peace? If we don’t learn how to express our emotions, how do we express love? Is our emotional system “Gadbadaya“?
- Is love one-dimensional? What are we seeking with having a life-long partner?
- Do our fears govern our relationships? Is fear a good thing? Can we trust people again after having abandoned once?
- How do we protect ourselves from getting hurt? Is it worth trusting people?
- Can we give without expecting?
- Do we all have a list of 5 safe people in our lives where we can be completely ourselves without any fear, any judgment and feel completely free? How does the next person that comes along compare with the level of safety with the 5 people that exist?
- Are relationships extremely dysfunctional in our society? Are we really independent or are we lying to ourselves?
- Are relationships complex or simple? Or are we making them complex by over-analyzing and science(ing) the $h!t out of them?
- Can science and lectures supersede basic human instinct of just loving unconditionally and not being extremely selfish or extremely selfless?
It felt like I read a book on a simple journey of a girl Kaira who fears getting abandoned and how her relationships suffer as a result of this fear. How she goes about suppressing her feelings all her life and not confront her fears, becomes passive-aggressive with the way she expresses her emotions. Perhaps not even knowing what her fears are.
The movie is an experience for sure. You can read a few books that it seems to have derived its philosophies from or just experience the emotions with the movie.
I write from my heart.
I'd write even if no one was reading.
"Offending people since 1977"
Latest posts by Coach V (see all)
- “Hichki” – Not a “Taare Zameen Par” but an experience of its own - March 27, 2018
- Seeking Fulfillment and not Validation - February 19, 2018
- My Inability To Maintain Relationships - January 28, 2018