Tree Falling by Yelling? – The Power of Words
I read someplace (can’t recollect clearly) where some villagers on an Island in the South Pacific learned how to bring down real big trees. Trees that were near impossible to bring down with an axe. The villagers gathered around the huge tree and yelled at the tree non stop for 30 days. The tree would fall down on its own. Sounds crazy?
I don’t know if this is a myth or truth, but it does work on people. Kids. Spouses. 100%. While growing up, I was constantly told I’m good for nothing. I’m an idiot, a moron, will not be able to do anything good with my life. I started believing every word. As a child, all you care about is acceptance, validation. All you need is words of encouragement, the ability to be forgiven when you make a mistake. As a child, you need that extra validation to support your interests, your likings, your area of interest. What would you do if you were told at the age of ten that you can’t earn a single penny. What would you do if you were told at the age of 12 that you’re a loser? Would that not rip your self confidence? Would that not encourage you to look for validation outside of that domain?
Anyways, this blog is not about me. It’s about you. Words, Vibes, have an effect on people. A good Manager can bring out the best in an employee, simply by using words of encouragement. A spouse can bring out the best simply by kind words of appreciation. A parent can bring out the best in their child just by validating their feelings. That doesn’t mean one has to become all soft towards everyone, a sense of discipline has to exist, but the method, the way it’s done, matters. Yelling, abusing doesn’t make things right, in fact, it creates a rift, a sense of detachment so permanent, that it’s almost impossible to get back. It has happened with me and happened with me and happened with me (that’s 3 times 😉 ). I’m not writing this for sympathy or to be philosophical and all, just to highlight the basic simple things that matter.
I’ve learned as a Coach that most of the work I do, is related to do with encouragement and listening apart from the knowledge that you impart as a Coach. Of course you have know about the subject, and of course you can’t fake it, and doesn’t depend on any profession. It’s you as a person. You either have it or need to build it over the course of time. It depends on your priorities. If it’s important to you, you’ll find a way, if not you’ll find an excuse.
I write from my heart.
I'd write even if no one was reading.
"Offending people since 1977"