Seeking Fulfillment and not Validation
In the modern world, often “Respect” and “Listening” can be misconstrued as “Weakness” and “Shyness”. Your “Passion” can easily be misconstrued as “this guy is in it for something”. Your “Persistence” can be misconstrued as “Needy”.
I’ve been guilty of giving that impression many a times in places where I believe I can make strong human interpersonal relationships and I feel the need to be respectful and be a good listener. But when your help is taken for granted, and all of a sudden there is a shift in the way people are treating you, what do you do. You make a paradigm shift. You take a few steps back. And know that you will not be able to cultivate strong relationships due to mainly 2 reasons.
1) Fast Paced Modern World – people don’t have time. With a few exceptions, most people aren’t going to go through the gruesome process of cultivating relationships and bond. It takes time to build long term relationships and it’s not going to happen with everyone you meet. In fact, it’s going to be so rare, that you will be suddenly taken aback when you click with someone.
2) Maybe it’s the Age Factor – Maybe we are more cynical as we age. Maybe our social obligations increase and our social circle decreases thereby giving a sense of emptiness and then avoiding shallow socializing when then again is believed as being an “introvert” versus being “careful”.
In today’s age and stage, one thing is for sure -This kind of perspective where talking is emphasized on, doesn’t matter what and how you deliver results and your skill sets, you are constantly judged on your behavior, it does get suffocating. It will for you too as you realize your set of friends are slowly dispersing into different directions and every relationship is becoming a business transaction real soon. Again, nothing wrong with all of the above, it’s part of evolution but the key thing is you will miss the “fulfillment” part of things. That’s why it becomes extremely important to “seek fulfillment” in an act or doing a certain activity. There is no spontaneity, it’s a pre-planned activity. I believe that’s the reason why I am constantly seeking activities and people where I can make strong connections with. But deep inside I’m also scared and worried that this might be short lived. The only way this can change (in my opinion) is to ensure that fulfillment comes from within and not from people outside.
Love and Gratitude,
I write from my heart.
I'd write even if no one was reading.
"Offending people since 1977"